Photo by Erin Parks

Editor's note: This piece first appeared in the new issue of Variance; click here for the full feature.

As a Twitter addict and fan of all things music, I often find myself paying attention to the music-related trending topics that pop up on any given day. As you know, Twitter is a place that allows like-minded people to gather and discuss their favorite topics, but sometimes this power is abused to its fullest potential. Case in point? Justin Bieber and his “Beliebers.”

On most days, Bieber will have a couple different trending topics all to himself—a fact that is fueled by his millions of Kool-Aid drinking “Beliebers.” As of this writing, he has more than 45 million Twitter followers, the most of anyone on Twitter by a longshot. I challenge you to visit his profile, see the number of followers and simply refresh your browser. I guarantee when the page returns, that follower count will be higher than it was before. It’s the damndest thing. (I did this more times than I care to reveal.)

But the problem isn’t Bieber or the fact that he’s got a substantial following; the problem is the manner in which these individuals follow him. They pursue him in a way that makes you believe they may literally be following him—camped out somewhere outside of a hotel with a pair of binoculars in tow. They wait on his every move and discuss “His Holiness” among themselves in the meantime, changing their display names to “Justin Bieber” and set their avi picture to the same photo he uses. They speak in a weird, Bieber-induced code that the untrained mind can’t quite decipher. What I’m talking about here is a subculture that is growing, and thriving, in complete lunacy.

To better understand a point I can’t fully describe, I offer you a tweet that perfectly illustrates what I’m trying to say:

  • “Sometimes I just bust into tears because Justin Bieber”
  • "1 name, 1 inspiration, 1 role model, 1 soul, 1 heart, 1 smile, 1 singer. One boy who changed our lives. JUSTIN DREW BIEBER <3"

Scary, right? You get the feeling young fans have confused Justin Bieber with the second coming of Jesus Christ, and there appears to be a major parenting disconnect in clarifying the difference. Bieber is 19 years old, still figuring out who he is in this life and has no business being the apple of your son or daughter’s eye. Kids idolizing kids is like the blind leading the blind. It just doesn’t work.

Before I’m written off as just another one of Bieber’s many haters, let me clarify: I do not hate Justin Bieber. In actuality, I think he’s multi-talented, sometimes charming and doing an OK job of growing up in the public eye. If my every move was broadcasted to the entire world, I’d have plenty of TMZ moments myself—I cannot pass judgment for his indiscretions. That would be foolish and unfair.

What I am saying is this: When I was younger, I idolized my parents. Instead of a massive celebrity crush, I had a crush on a girl in my class. And if there was someone on TV with arms full of tattoos and peeing into mop buckets? My mom probably wouldn’t let me watch it. I guess that is just the difference in generations.

So next time you see that adolescent on Twitter announcing their undying allegiance to the almighty Bieber, maybe let them know there is more to life than that. Let them know in 15 years, they will look back with a smile and laugh about how silly they were. But more than anything, let them know about this place called “outside.” I hear it’s nice this time of year.